I didn’t feel like playing Counter Strike today. That’s a new high for me. Really. I don’t remember myself say No to Gaming. But it is temporary. I know, tomorrow I’ll be back. So, anyways, I took a walk. I went around the block. Just for kicks. Can’t smoke today either because I will be donating blood tomorrow. Noble Cause. (A friend told me so). So I took a walk, looking to see if I could meet some people I knew and probably gossip and pass time. But the walk showed me more than what I wanted to see.
There was this small child. A girl. Must be 7 or 8 years old. 10 tops. Dirty clothes, disheveled hair. She wasn’t a beggar or anything. But she was there. Noticeable. Tangible. I tried, but could look at no one else in the whole throng of people out there. She must have a mother, who probably works at a construction site somewhere. And she must have a father. One who comes home drunk every night only to beat up her and her mother. But anyways, coming back, I could see nothing else. All I could see was poverty, despair and human indifference. She was just sitting there. She made no complaints. No pleas for money or food or anything. But I could see only misery. I couldn’t do anything for her. I can’t. I’m helpless. I could only hang my head down and walk away. I wanted to give her some money. That was the least I could do. But I didn’t. Human pride is one thing I do not want to put to test by offering her money which she isn’t even asking for. I just walked away. I just… walked away.
I remember Goldblum’s dialogue from the movie, Jurassic Park. “Life”, he said, “will find a way.” Does Life really find a way? Does it? Or is it just another nothing that we say, so that we can relieve ourselves from the conscience, shame and wretchedness that bear upon us when we choose to run away from Life?
I went out there hoping to run into some acquaintances. I came back wishing none would find me.
- (A very depressed) Vinaykrishnan.
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