i am not a silent tear that fades away silently. my blood has the energy of the big bang, and it coaxes me, urges me, forces me, into things beyond mundane concepts of imagination...
my life isn't at a dead end. i bash through walls, crash through fences, i stop only when i mean to, and not when the end of the road approaches...
my end justifies my means. I do not bother to look at the milestones, they are too insignificant for me, i believe in the highlight of the curtains falling...

change.

Wings clipped,

shadows ripped,

flight disturbed,

life perturbed.

times turned,

life churned,

winds roared,

spirits soared.

Perception

I think about you and I feel you,
You are to me tender and inspiring,
But elusive as well,
Like a lovely song, but half-remembered,
I try to hum the melody,
But the lyrics keep slipping away,
I wish to give you flowers,
But then they too wither,
Maybe walk with you in the rain,
Gaze at your smile,
And the twinkle in your eyes,
I try to keep myself logical,
But you are a flash of lightning,
Zinging in one direction a moment,
Then zapping in another the next,
I only can see reversals of order,
Chaos, underlined with jagged peaks
Of beauty and awe-inspiring audacity,
I wish to perceive you,
But I fail utterly,
And I am now only pieces
Waiting to be gathered,
Scattered in your aura of brilliance
Like drops of water on windshields.

==============================

I AM...

People like to stay afraid. It's a way of denying that better, bigger, more dangerous and more enchanting prospects lie ahead. But people still like doing it.

I am of another world. My sweat, my tears, my blood... I will do what I wish... Inhibitions are for lower mortals. Inhibitions are for lesser beings. Inhibitions are for fallen angels. For me, there are no such concepts such as fear or inhibitions. I am a greater God... I am the Deus Ex Universe...

I am...

DELHI

I love this city. Bustling traffic, tall buildings, never-ending roads, gazillions of people rushing to their destinations all the time... And yet, its not as if being here in itself is a rush. The pace is a compromise, i think, between the rapidness of a rambling city, and the calm of a serene village. You can do all that is to be done, without feeling short of time, but also finding that not so much time is found at hand that you begin to wonder what to do with it.

I love this city.

THE LEARNING CYCLE

I passed CCNA.

Faith reaffirmed. Trust regained. Hope renewed.

Life goes on. Not like a cycle downhill. But like a kite upwind.

How stupid I was to doubt my abilities...

How dark the pessimism of man...

The CCNA Test

There's always a moment of anxiety when you attempt something that you have worked hard for. It could be an exam, a stage performance, or even a simple chat with a special someone. In my case, today, I'm dealing with a CCNA certification exam.

Being an under-achiever purely out of laziness, I stood face-to-face with something that I haven't done in a long, long time - STUDY. However, I'll be truthful. This is something I have been interested in. So I took it up on myself to actually sit my ass down and study for this certification exam.

And tomorrow is the moment of truth. Have I studied enough to actually earn CCNA certification, and in turn, to reaffirm my faith in the power of knowledge? Or will I be disheartened, and only wryly smile at myself for even trying?

Guess I'll wait for tomorrow.

Photographs from Globetrotters...

I like it when people, who visit various countries, put up their photographs on the internet. The places in these snaps remind me of the world being a better place than it seems. That life never ends, and that it goes on. That the world is a bit smaller now because I can feel and see the joy and happiness of the people in these snaps, and know that there are good things in life.

Appreciation

"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends." - Anton Ego.(Ratatouille)

I love this piece in the movie. It always reminds me, that though all things in life are worth more than the appreciation they receive, it really is something to receive appreciation anyhow.

Existence

I struggle, against my wish or discretion,
And i inch slowly upwards,
Nails and toes scrapping the dust,
I hit a wall,forty Everests high,four light years long,
And yet i brave it,
Scrambling for shelter when lightning strikes,
But i find only more thunder where i look,
Maybe shelter has been made void,
And i'm forced to scream,
I wanted to choose my own battles,
Now i fight for someone else,
And the stink is that i cant refuse,
So i fight,
But when its all done,
And i am the last man standing,
I still search for an oasis,
I still search for water,
But find only devils and dust,
I think to myself why am I an outcast?
Why am I the black in the white?
Why, for me, do the heavens decide?
Why do I run like a madman?
Why..... why do I even try?

Reminiscence

My past lies in ruins,

Memories vanish like smoke,

Like water on windshields,

Temporarily present.



Surreal thoughts,

Wishful dreaming,

Uncanny resemblances

To the impossible.



I am an almanac

Full of marks, scars and impressions,

Waiting to be erased

And gobbled up by the sands of time.



Etenity is only a concept

Of agony and pain,

Life isn't for eternity,

Void eternity is for life.

Shadow Dance

I see the light,
Too bad,
I'm between it and my life,
My shadow is my enemy,
Darkness prevails over me,
Can't say i expect too much,
But pitch black i dont deserve,
I'm being sucked now,
Into the quagmire of my life,
I'm going silently into the night.

Mallus Everywhere?????

Why do I keep meeting Mallus everywhere???
Whether I go to the mall, or to the theatre, or to the gas station, or the court, or the grounds, or the hospital, or restaurants; I see Malayalee people everywhere. They are taking over the world. This planet ought to be named Mallu Land...

Every where I look, I only see Mallus. The men carrying the stereotypical umbrellas and handbags and newspapers. The women with the curly hair let loose. The kids in their small shorts scampering around and singing Malayalam film songs.

Why is it so??? Is this a conspiracy??? Are all the Malayalees planning to take over the world?!?!?!
I think it's because of Communism with the Laal Salaams and the Red flags and the picture of Che Guevara pasted on every second wall.

Or maybe, its just because I happen to be in Cochin...

ROLLING STONE

I believe that i write only becase I'm like a rolling stone. I gather no moss. I gather no weight. I move. I float. I glide from webpage to webpage. I write simply because it appeals to my nomadic senses. I don't believe in sticking to one thing for life, be it webpages or wives.... :-)

Not that I'm married or anything...

Just an expression.

Whatever.

CREATION

There's a first in everything in life....

First friend,
First girlfriend,
First kiss,
First job,
First salary,
First Bike,
and now,

I'm at my FIRST BLOG...

I CAN NOW CREATE!!!!!