Where am I going?

Right now, my life all about deadlines, productivity, people management, experience, money, analysis, project plans, development, quality assurance, agile, scrum, websites, taking shit, giving shit, et al. Only software engineering rules my life. Exaggerating, hiding facts, portraying incorrect statistics, bitching, being dishonest all in all - that's what I am doing. I cannot believe that integrity and honesty used to be my biggest strengths in my work-life. Whatever happened to my ethics? Whatever happened to my moralities? Whatever happened to my quest, thirst, drive for knowledge? And not knowledge about how to have shit thrown over me and still smile about it, but knowledge for other things... like the stars, the sun, the earth, atoms, molecules, fluids, places, ancient wars, Greek mythology, Roman mythology, books, authors, music, rock music, films, economics, light rays, scalars, vectors, trigonometry, road construction, asphalt, games, PC games, plants, trees, animals, birds, fishes, sharks, coral reefs, Australia, the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal, telephones, radio, guitars, drums.... (the list is endless)...

Why am I caught in the web of the lure for money? Do I need to give up on everything I am interested in, or I want to believe in?

Today, I realize that...

I love writing, wherein,
I start from "Today, I realize that..."...
But today, I find that,
I do not ultimately realize anything,
My life is all just a game,
Of the roll of the dice,
Once a six, once not even a one,
I wish I could live life in a way
That would astonish people
And want them to admire me,
Say "What a man!",
But here I am, still here,
Not much achieved, even less gained,
This life has not turned out
The roll I wanted it to be.
But I am glad.
I know some people
Who would gladly lay down their lives for me,
Some who would grudgingly, :-)
(I don't even know if a smiley is allowed in a poem)
And I know some,
For whom I would lay down my life.
Not some, but many.
And so I go on singing,
In hope, in love, in faith,
That someday I shall be able to look back
Upon my life, and say that,
"Yes, today I realize that..."

Thai Insurance Commercials

I was going through some commercials on Youtube. I reached a segment of some commercials for an insurance company of Thailand, called Thai Insurance. These have to be the most touching and most emotional advertisement commercials that I have ever seen. They are all very predictable, but the way the commercials have been picturised would make almost everyone cry. (All of these, being Thai, have subtitles which add to the experience really.)

1. A woman goes to the doctor to have a  premature delivery done. The only reason she gives is "We're running out of time." Very intense, and very sentimental. Tears shouldn't surprise me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpf2hsZGsJM&feature=player_embedded

2. A father speaks about how and why he wants more time. Great camerawork and effects, very touching.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvYb4BLIAQw&feature=related

3. A woman suffers from Leukemia and dumps her boyfriend. Very very sad, but very beautifully captured.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgaHwaG055I&feature=related

4. A father makes a promise to always care for his daughter. She gets pregnant though. How the father reacts is what makes this an amazingly good commercial.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkoRDFjBh44&feature=related

5. Aan old woman, an ex-pianist, loses the motion of her right hand and so cannot play the piano. She  has a nurse who has been learning the piano for 5 years of her own. Beautiful!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU44zfNxg20&feature=related

Each of these commercials brings with it many emotions. All of them, though sad, convey a very haunting message to the viewer.

Good work, Thai Insurance.