Today, I realize that...

I love writing, wherein,
I start from "Today, I realize that..."...
But today, I find that,
I do not ultimately realize anything,
My life is all just a game,
Of the roll of the dice,
Once a six, once not even a one,
I wish I could live life in a way
That would astonish people
And want them to admire me,
Say "What a man!",
But here I am, still here,
Not much achieved, even less gained,
This life has not turned out
The roll I wanted it to be.
But I am glad.
I know some people
Who would gladly lay down their lives for me,
Some who would grudgingly, :-)
(I don't even know if a smiley is allowed in a poem)
And I know some,
For whom I would lay down my life.
Not some, but many.
And so I go on singing,
In hope, in love, in faith,
That someday I shall be able to look back
Upon my life, and say that,
"Yes, today I realize that..."