Happiness

Over a year back, I had a dream of buying a cruiser motorcycle by this time. That never happened.

Two years back, I thought I'd have a great physique by this time. That never happened.

Three years back, I wanted to have a small 1 BHK flat of my own by this time. That never happened.

Four years back, I wanted to roaming the world as a backpacker by this time. That never happened.

But I have realized, that at those times, I only wanted to whisper with dreams and feel the mythical caresses that they offer for those who have naught to hold on to. Maybe I was only ordinary. Maybe I was only an average human being with expectations of the moon from myself. But I wanted it. I wanted it all. And I felt as if nothing could stop me. But I got nothing. Nothing yet.

I wonder if they were all only pipe dreams. Just foolish wishes. If only wishes were horses, they say. They aren't horses. Not even 1000 cc motorcycles, apparently.

I want to say that now I don't want any of it without sounding as if I'm just trying to console myself over sour grapes. But really, I don't want any of it. I have a great family, I am in love with the most amazing woman in the world, and the best part is that she loves me too. I have a great job in a city that I love, friends who wake up in the wee hours of the morning when I need them, and enough money to pass my month by without having to go hungry like in the olden days.

I am happy. Truly. Nothing beats this. Maybe, this is what I always wanted without knowing that I really did want this. I hope that some wise part of me will counsel me sometime soon saying that happiness cannot be obtained, and that it can only be eternally optimistically pursued.

But till then, I know that I am happy. Absolutely.

- Vinaykrishnan.