I believe.

It's no longer warm today. The season is now changing and the leaves have started giving way to the fall. I only noticed it when I was looking out the window today. Pretty happy, given that I've had a long summer, both, time and otherwise.

It's been a tough time. I've had some crashes and burns, that I don't think I can forget for a long long time. But then, there have been things that have made me happy. Things that make me look forward to the next day.

I always thought I just was existing. Breathing it in, and breathing it out. But then, there have been things, insights, that taught me how to live. I was amazed at how it's not the larger joys, but the smaller ones that we hold on to so dearly. It's not the way of the world - to hold on to anything. But these just are small quirks and moments in my life that I will never let go of.

Sometimes, I really think that this is just a phase, and that it will all go away. The joys, the moments, the people. But then I think, "No way! I'm not leting go. Not this time. Not this." It's pretty weird really, how I can actually decide that, given that fate is such a fickle lover. But I believe in the eccentricity of it all. The grand scheme of things. It's not all irrational or erratic. There is a pattern. A master plan. It's not something mere mortals like me or you can figure out initially. No. That's not how it works. It's more complex than the human mind can imagine. Way out of our league. But at the end, it all fits in. So all I'll do is try to see if there is anyway I can push things along to fit into the great jigsaw puzzle that's laid out in front of me.

I believe all that I write. I believe that I shall continue to "live", now that I have learnt, and not merely exist. I believe that someday my life will be my testimonial. I believe that one day I will look back and read this, and say, "That, Vinaykrishnan Menon, was a good decision to make."

I believe.

- Vinaykrishnan.